Hey Lady
by talesmith
Summary: Phryne manages to get Dot out of a pickle but ends up with a ten gallon hat and a room full of admirers in the process.


**Hey Lady**

Dot's spent the afternoon watching over a wee lot in the nursery, in the church annex. As a volunteer, she does this twice a week and Phryne or Mr. Butler will pick her up, when her shift is over.

Today, Phryne enters the annex and finds her dear Dot in such a pickle:

"Miss Phryne, Gladys is running late and Father Grogan wants to see me. I should have been in his office half hour ago. Would you mind just keeping an eye on the children until Gladys arrives or I get back?"

After peeking into the nursery Phryne says "Now Dot, You know I don't do children and when I do acknowledge them it's only children after a certain age."

"They're mostly between five and seven years old Miss and really not that bad at all. The lot's used to being here, while their parents are at work and they even entertain themselves, for the most part."

"Oh, all right then. But, do what you need to do as quickly as you can"

So, Dot, being about seven and one half months pregnant with Hugh's and her first child waddles off down the hall, in search of Father Grogan.

_Meanwhile,_ mysterious eyes are watching this tale unfold.

Phryne tiptoes into the nursery, trying her best to blend in with the walls, furnishings and draperies long enough for her much hoped for hole in the floor to open and swallow her up, when she hears this raspy "Hey Lady."

Quickly looking around the room she hears raspy "Hey Lady" once again. And, this time it seems to be coming from a pint-sized body, under a ten gallon hat.

Phryne cautiously approaches Ten Gallon Hat and asks "May I help you?"

Ten Gallon Hat informs "I have to go potty and can not reach handle on the door."

Phryne asks Ten Gallon Hat "If I open the door can you manage everything else?"

Ten Gallon Hat replies "I can do the rest, Lady" as he anxiously wraps his little hand around the left index finger of a much relieved Phryne Fisher and leads her to the potty door.

Phryne opens the troublesome door and informs Ten Gallon Hat "Not to fear, I will leave the door ajar, so that you can get out with no problem" when she feels an unexpected tug, on the right side of her long flowing white duster coat.

She immediately looks down and discovers another little body that begins to wiggle its tiny finger at her.

Lady detective, that she is, knows to follow Wiggling Finger across the room. So, off she goes in hot pursuit.

Wiggling Finger introduces her to a very sad face with a serious problem.

Lady detective ascertains that Sad Faces paper aeroplane has landed atop the tot towering bookcase and must deduce a way to get it down.

She picks up Sad Face and flies him around in the air, thrusting him upwards, so he can reclaim his treasured toy. And, then she brings boy and toy in for a safe landing, back on the nursery floor.

Oh, what the heck, Phryne decides to give Wiggling Finger a ride in the air too.

Leaving happy Wiggling Finger and no longer Sad Face behind, she meanders back across the room to deal with Bickering Boy and Squabbling Girl.

No longer in lady detective mode, Phryne demands in her best Honorable Miss Fisher voice, "Quiet!" and proceeds to ask a now speechless Bickering Boy and a silent Squabbling Girl "What seems to be the problem?" Before things get totally out of hand and Bickering or Squabbling pops one or the other, on their stubborn little heads.

After Phryne firmly plants herself between the two, Bickering Boy and Squabbling Girl manage to calmly explain their problem. Fluidly sitting down on the floor, Phryne informs the two "There are more than enough blocks to go around" and she further explains to Bickering Boy " Little girls have brains too and can build or do whatever else they decide they want to do." She then goes on to build the most awesome block structure known to all wee humankind and walks away, leaving Bickering and Squabbling gaping at the eighth wonder of the world.

Pretty pleased with herself over handling these emergencies and rethinking perhaps it is wrong, after all, for alligators to eat their young, Phryne suddenly hears the wail of a very loud siren in the distance.

Phryne thinks "I know that noise and it's definitely not associated with a five, six or seven-year old."

Snapping back into lady detective mode she deduces "Drat! That's the B word. That's a BABY!"

The sound of a baby crying always has the effect of nails scraping across a very long chalkboard on Phryne Fisher, causing her to cringe and freeze on the spot. However, she musters up all her resolve and sidles over to the small cot, holding the teeny-weeny human, and softly says "Hello Baby"

She's rewarded with a very red-faced, arms and legs flailing, loudly wailing bundle of extremely unhappy energy.

Finding the old coochy, coochy coo tickle under the chin routine and her remaining scant choice of baby talk words to be of no avail, lady detective, that she is, decides to probe the problem further.

She soon discovers Baby is leaking and is perplexed about how something so small can leak so much.

Suddenly a raspy "Hey Lady" pulls Phryne from her musing.

She looks down to see Ten Gallon Hat, who grabs her index finger, yet again, and guides her to a partitioned corner of the room.

Looking over all the clues, Phryne quickly deduces that this is an area filled with all the stuff Baby can possibly need.

Crouching down, Phryne looks Ten Gallon Hat straight in the eyes and shakes his little hand while thanking him for his assistance, yet again.

She rolls up her sleeves, wipes her brow, that is now residing between two thumping temples, collects Baby and deposits her on the table behind the little partition and begins to dismantle her wee wet duds.

To the tune of a contented, dry, bare, baby goo-gooing, cooing and gurgling, Phryne experiments with nappy folding. She soon discovers that she can make squares, rectangles, tri-folds, octagons and triangles. And, ultimately she decides to go with the triangle.

Reaching for Baby exactly when a geyser decides to erupt (she turns out to be a he) causes Phryne to move faster than a speeding bullet and, yet again, ponder over how such a little thing can leak so much.

Baby finally runs dry and Phryne grabs for and fumbles the powder causing a fine white layer to settle over table, baby and lady detective's shiny raven hair. Oh well, even the pros have a little faux pas, from time to time, so she forges on to restore Baby in his fresh duds. The end result is unorthodox, but does the job nonetheless.

_Meanwhile,_ the no longer mysterious eyes, for they belong to Dot and Father Grogan, really begin to twinkle as they watch this tale unfold, in the room next to the nursery, through a two-way mirror, generally used to monitor the little lot."

"Well Dorothy, I believe Miss Fisher does pass muster. So, I will go along with your request for her to be your baby's Godmother."

Totally unaware that she's softly patting her now rather big belly, Dot informs Father Grogan "I've always known my Miss could do it. This little adventure will help her see that she can do it too, before Hugh and I make her our special request"

"I believe Miss Phryne is finally beginning to rub off on you, Father Grogan"

"The Lord works in mysterious ways Dorothy (of course the fixed roof, new bell in the tower and always very tidy sum in the needy fund, provided by Phryne's Aunt Prudence, doesn't hurt either)

"Father Grogan, If I ever had the slightest doubt that she would be the perfect choice, which I haven't, I knew the moment Ten Gallon Hat grabbed hold of Miss Phryne's finger there could be no other choice.

_Finally,_ with happy Baby deposited back in cot, fatigued Phryne finds her own way over to a tempting rocker, sitting by an arched stained glass window.

Just getting all comfortable in the rocking chair, Phryne hears a familiar raspy "Hey Lady"

Ten Gallon Hat moseys up to Phryne and asks "Hey Lady, will you help me read my book?"

Phryne skillfully puts Ten Gallon Hat in her lap and he hands her his treasured volume. She gushes "Oh how lovely, one of my favorites, about the adventures of the famous Winnie-the-Pooh and Pals. Can you tell me where Pooh lives?

Ten Gallon Hat says "Everybody knows Pooh lives in Hundred Acre Wood, Lady."

Phryne manages to stifle a laugh into a yawn and begins to read, using different voices for Pooh, Piglet, Kanga, Roo and others, as she tricks Ten Gallon Hat into helping her, by reading along too.

Pooh and pals are quite active in today's big adventure. So, ten minutes into the book, a very tired Ten Gallon Hat falls sound to sleep. His pint-sized body is all snuggled up against Phryne as he makes tiny sleepy sounds, with his small thumb plugged securely into his little O shaped mouth.

Quietly placing the book on the side table and ever so gently removing the now squashed ten gallon hat, Phryne's surprised to discover he is really a she, wearing wee faded dungarees.

As she gingerly brushes the wee ones fringe aside, two big cornflower blue eyes briefly look up at her before drowsily fluttering shut. And, fondly, Phryne Fisher automatically begins rocking the pint-sized, blonde haired, girl to sleep again.


End file.
